


Logistics

by CadetDru



Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Familiars, Gen, Minor Guillermo/Nandor the Relentless (What We Do in the Shadows TV), Post-Episode s02e10 Nouveau Théâtre des Vampires, Vampire Hunters, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:35:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28400250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CadetDru/pseuds/CadetDru
Summary: Guillermo de la Cruz, vampire hunter and entrepreneur, stood amongst the fallen bodies of the vampires that had tried to kill his--  well, Nandor, Nadja, Laszlo, and Colin Robinson. They had been sentenced to death for a series of accidental/on purpose vampire murders that he had committed to keep them safe.  Guillermo had killed accidentally, then to protect the house, then to protect himself.  Killing vampires was surprisingly easy. He could see why they need human familiars for protection.They didn't even know his name.  They didn't care. Either his usefulness transcended such petty considerations or they really didn't care.  He didn't want to care.This was Guillermo's life.  No matter what he'd done to try to change it. It hadn't been enough. Everything was down to logistics.
Relationships: Guillermo de la Cruz & Nandor the Relentless
Kudos: 9
Collections: non-denominational winter celebrational fandom gift exchangional extravaganza





	Logistics

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CoralAsh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoralAsh/gifts).



> happy merry vampire hunting aftermath!

Guillermo de la Cruz, vampire hunter and entrepreneur, stood amongst the fallen bodies of the vampires that had tried to kill his--well, Nandor, Nadja, Laszlo, and Colin Robinson. They had been sentenced to death for a series of accidental/on purpose vampire murders that he had committed to keep them safe.Guillermo had killed accidentally, then to protect the house, then to protect himself.Killing vampires was surprisingly easy. He could see why they need human familiars for protection.  


They didn't even know his name. They didn't care. Either his usefulness transcended such petty considerations or they really didn't care. He didn't want to care. 

This was Guillermo's life.No matter what he'd done to try to change it. It hadn't been enough. Everything was down to logistics. 

The easy part was over and done with.Four living(?) vampires remained in the stage, manacled to their seats.The camera crew was reunited and injured, standard for them. Guillermo was still the guy in charge, so he was trying to make a plan. 

"How do we get out of here?" Colin Robinson asked.

Guillermo sighed, looking around at the exits. He looked at the camera crew, the manacled vampires on the stage. It was all logistics.

"Untie us!" Nandor shouted.

"We'll kill him for you, if you untie us," Colin Robinson said."Just throw his body in with all the rest."

Guillermo tried not to consider it. He couldn't, not really. He wouldn't let anything happen to any of them, especially not his mast-- especially not Nandor.The plan pulled together in his head as he released campfiresGather the humans, have the vampires guard them, guard the vampires. Even if they could get past the taboo of it killing other vampires, they'd still be too chaotic to rely on.

They walked towards the side door. Some of the ones who had escaped had tried to barricade it. Nandor took care of that.Guillermo smiled to see his former master working under his direction, then immediately tried to stomp down the thought. 

There was a vampire waiting outside the door, not the strongest or the smartest of the bunch.Nandor snapped the vampire's neck, grabbed a stake off Guillermo and killed the straggler where it lay.He looked up at Guillermo, for acknowledgement or approval.

"You're not supposed to kill vampires..." Guillermo said.

"They think we do already," Nandor grumbled."Might as well be hanged for a shepherd and his family as your servant stealing a lamb."

"I don't....think that's a saying," Guillermo said carefully. 

"Where are we going?" Nandor whined.

"Van, home," Guillermo said.They weren't going to be safe at home, but they weren't going to be safe. Home seemed as good a place as any, even if it wasn't his home any more.

Colin Robinson drove the camera crew's van because he was the least shaken by the night's events. His knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel, but his hands stayed at ten and two. 

The camera was still rolling. The camera crew were more dedicated than he was, full thousand yard stares as they sat in the back of the van. They were unable to focus their gaze but definitely able to focus the camera.But they were little rolling with it.Nothing was going to stop them. 

"In the morning, I can see if the witches will help put up some...spells or whatever on the house."

"Spells or whatever?" Nadja parroted. Guillermo glanced at her.She ducked her head."Spells or whatever.Sounds good.Thank you."

"Yes, thank you, old chap," Laszlo said. His arm moved to pat Guillermo on the shoulder.Guillermo tensed and tried not to go for a weapon.Laszlo wasn't his enemy.The van was an enclosed space.They'd be home soon. 

"Why do we need spells? You killed them all!" Nandor cried."How many more do I have to kill on the way there?"

"Some got away," Guillermo said. He didn't know the percentage for his success, but he felt good about it."You just got that one."

"Yeah, and you let the little guy, your doppelganger escape," Colin Robinson said.

"What else could I do?" Guillermo said.

"And the emcee ran off," Colin Robinson said.

"Probably have swarms of ravens," Laszlo muttered.

"Actually, a group of ravens is a conspiracy or unkindness," Colin Robinson said. "Considering they tricked us to come have a very public death, that sounds about right."

"We'll take care of whoever's left," Nandor said.

"Oh, is Nandor the Relentless ready to destroy his enemies on his own?"

"I need a mighty army," Nandor said.

"That's not happening." Guillermo said.

"I need a lot of wooden stakes," Nandor said, trying to compromise. 

"Those are in the house." Guillermo said. "You can find them if you look."

Everyone spilled out of the van when they got home. They hurried in, awkwardly, the vampires looking up for ravens circling the house. There weren't any yet. It was just a matter of time, but they might have a whole night. 

Guillermo shouted for everyone to get in as loud as he could. It wasn't necessary, everyone was running for it already. Whatever remained of the Council knew what had happened.Guillermo doubted they would actually attack: they'd been hit hard enough. Everyone needed to rest, both sides, all sides. 

They walked in, greeted by more blood. Human bodies instead of the vampires they'd left behind."Very unhygienic," Nandor said, as if it was his first time seeing it.

"Thank you," Nadja said to Guillermo.She sounded guilty and sincere. 

"Yes," Laszlo said. "Thank you.If there's anything that we can do. Both or either of us."

Nandor hissed at them.They rolled their eyes and walked off, dazed camera crew still following them. "Fucking guy," Nandor said, staring st their retreating forms. "Trying to seduce his gratitude away." He walked towards his crypt. 

Guillermo followed him on muscle memory alone, his hands ready to help Nandor prepare for bed. His heart and mind weren't in it."He was seriously going to..." Guillermo said.

"It doesn't matter. Your room is ready for you." Nandor said, waving in what was mostly the correct direction.

"No, it's not, I was just here," Guillermo said. "And it doesn't matter. I'm not moving back in."

"We need you," Nandor said.

"You just killed that vampire," Guillermo said.

"I killed one guy," Nandor said. "You killed.I don't even know how many.Lots. You're the vampire killer, not me." His smile was uncertain, ready to drop into a frown or snarl. 

"Nandor.... I can help you, but not from here," Guillermo said. "You can help me keep you safe. You need to just do it for yourself.I don't need to be here."

"I need you here." Nandor said.

Guillermo grabbed Nandor by the shoulders. "Don't," he started to say, before his voice gave out. "Things can't go back to how they were," he said, staring into Nandor's dark eyes. "You understand that, right?"

"You just killed every notable vampire when they had me on trial for your killing all of these other vampires," Nandor said. He carefully laid his hand over each of Guillermo's clenched fists. "You're back and you'll be my lieutenant and champion and bodyguard and all of that. You can hire someone to do the laundry. Colin Robinson might have some leads."

Guillermo started to laugh. "I don't..."

Nandor let go of Guillermo's fists. "Neither of us should make any promises or requests tonight," Nandor said.He patted Guillermo on the shoulder. "Busy night.Terrible night. Sleep first."

"Fine," Guillermo said. "Sleep.We'll talk at nightfall." It was supposed to be a promise or a threat, it sounded more like a plea.

Nandor smiled.He seemed to hesitate, waiting for Guillermo's assistance.Guillermo deliberately and awkwardly stood and tried to decide what to do.He ended up calling his mother to tell her that he couldn't get the fridge that night and his friend was having a rough time. Just a quick nap and he could go about his day, take care of everything he needed to. He'd give Nandor all of his stakes and other supplies that a vampire could safely touch. A vampire willing to break the taboo of killing another vampire, a vampire with his own head-ripping gloves, was one who didn't need a familiar to look out for him.

Guillermo's real life would resume. He wouldn't be at Nandor's beck and call any more. He was pretty sure he didn't even want to be a vampire. They'd talk it all out at sunset. Nandor would beg Guillermo to come back by subtly insulting him and Guillermo would resist. Nandor would somehow be in the role of a damsel in distress and Guillermo would resist. It was all just a matter of logistics.


End file.
